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Exclusive Discovery! Evidence of a Previously Unknown Tesla Invention

Friday, April 1, 2022

Please note the date of this story.

Nikola Tesla was a visionary who invented the polyphase AC motor and foresaw modern-day technologies such as smartphones. Now we can add another achievement to his canon, as The Steampunk Explorer has received evidence that Tesla developed an early prototype of a social network known as “Steambook.”

The evidence comes in the form of documents from an anonymous source, including a page that contains Tesla’s own Steambook profile. Experts consulted by The Steampunk Explorer confirmed that the page seems to be genuine, as it demonstrates his germophobia, his disdain for Thomas Edison, and his fondness for pigeons. Indeed, it appears that Tesla friended some of the creatures.

More shocking are indications that Tesla’s feathered friends might have scuttled his plans to further develop the social network.

“My discoveries will enable the inter-connection of existing telegraph and telephone exchanges, creating a World-System accessible by an inexpensive wireless receiver, not bigger than a watch,” Tesla posted on his page. “This will make it possible for individuals around the globe to instantaneously and precisely transmit pictures of their cats.”

“Cats? Never!” replied one of Tesla’s avian friends.

“I will poop on your head!” threatened another.

A reproduction of Tesla’s Steambook page can be seen below (PC users can right-click on the image to see a larger version). Readers can judge its authenticity for themselves. Our Patreon supporters ($1 or more per month) can download a full-resolution PDF version.

Steambook

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